And Suddenly...

I find myself unemployed again. I was laid off Thursday, after just a little more than a week of working. SO, the job hunt begins again. The good news is that I will probably be working on a short film in March. Bad news, it doesn't pay. Actually, it's deferred payment, which means I would only get paid if the film makes a profit; and that is unlikely.

My knees hurt

Well, I have been working for a little over a week now; a temporary position processing orders for UT football championship merchandise. May I just say, it's no wonder everyone's broke, when they spend ungodly amounts on trinkets. Granted, some things may actually be useful, like the clothing or wallets; but why in God's name do you need a UT dog collar, a UT tape measure, or 10 cheap, plastic UT "stadium cups?" Some people are spending over $300 dollars on this stuff. Must be nice to have the money to blow. Oh well, it's paying my rent for now.

The only down sides are that I'm working 6 days a week, I'm again working nights, and I'm on my feet about 7 hours a day. I haven't had a job that required that much standing/walking in over 10 years now. It's hell on my feet and knees, and I sure could use a good back massage. It's only temporary though. Hopefully come February, I will get some work on film crews.

In other news...
My insulin pump broke last Wednesday. I dropped it on the floor, like I have 100 times before; only this time the motor stopped working. I was pretty annoyed, as I no longer have health insurance, and I didn't think the pump was still under warranty. It turns out, I had a 4 year warranty, instead of 3 year, so Animas is sending me a new one. YAY. It has been hell living without it. I've been giving myself insulin shots before (most) meals, but my blood sugar still shoots up between them and while sleeping, without the constant dosing.

I had a very vivid dream about Sunny yesterday morning. I knew that he had died, but there he was with me, holding my hand, kissing me, and just generally being the loving man he was. It was nice. Then things turned weird, and we ended up in a monastery. It turned out the one I thought was Sunny was actually some sort of alien shapeshifter that the Catholics were hunting down. I wish I'd awaken before the dream became so wild. Still, maybe in death we all become shapeshifters. That could be rather fun. I hope Sunny is enjoying his afterlife.

Auld Lang Syne

It's 2006. For days I've been thinking about summing up the past year; but there isn't much to it.

It began with Sunny in the hospital. I don't remember if he was lucid at the time or not. Probably, since it was four months after he was transferred to kindred. It was probably a hopeful time; I just really can't remember anymore. The days, weeks, months all blended together into one great tragedy by the time he passed away, in July...just a month shy of his 51st birthday.

After that, I decided I couldn't stand the news business anymore, and quit my job, moved to Austin. I am happier here. Thank to Tom, I'm not homeless. To him, I wish him health and happiness in the year ahead.

I also met John...who helped me keep my head together as I was preparing for the move. He's a wonderful, sweet man, and we found each other at a critical time in each of our lives. In just a short time, I've come to really care for him. I hope he can put his artistic talents to greater use; and to find his voice as a musician during this year.

Before Sunny's death, I also reconnected with a couple of old friends, including Alfredo, whom I'd known since Kindergarden. I'm glad my coming out didn't scare him away. To you, I wish you good luck getting back into your children's lives, and much happiness with your new love.

I also found out that one of my former coworkers, Dilia, had been killed in an highway accident. She was always so warm and happy. My sympathies to her family.

That was the year that was; but the traditional song of the season, Auld Lang Syne, again has me wondering what has become of people I knew long ago.

Anthony Lyons, a friend from childhood, who had drifted away and then become a good friend again during high school. I haven't seen you since Joshua's wedding; and I suppose that's because that's the first time you ever knew I was gay. You saw me dancing with Tom. I suppose I should have told you earlier; but as we were both from a military town, the "don't ask, don't tell" policy seemed to be working up until then.

Matthew Starling, from grade school. We were so close at one time, we even frequently had the same thoughts at the same time. You moved to Houston, if I recall, and I cried when you did. You were my best friend. What became of you?

Cameron Bilidoux and Richard Miller, you both barely knew me in high school, and probably don't even recall who I am now, but I thought both of you were gorgeous. If only I'd had the balls back then to tell you so.

Jenny Sansbury--I suspect you had a crush on me, at least until I got drunk and threw up all over your stereo and you had to drag me home. I liked you a lot, but naturally it wasn't a sexual attraction for me. I admired your intelligence and spunk. I know you had a successful newspaper career, but where are you now?

Aviva R. from After Hours; I recently saw that you are working for google or yahoo. Congrats.

Harley Jebbins, you are one of the best writers I ever met. I hope you're still scribblin'.