Aloha

Ah...the 80's!

I was going through some papers today, and found a short story I had written in college, for an assignment to do a first person, postmodern story along the lines of Less than Zero.

Aloha (Saved by Zero) is a fictionalized melange of my year and a half in Hawaii, cut down to 12 1/2 pages (which, if I recall, was actually 2 1/2 pages longer than the assignment allowed for, but I tended to get away with things like that).

Anyway, by the nature of the assignment, a lot of things, real or imagined, still had to be compressed, and ''characters'' consolidated, even though I use real names.

It's not a great piece, but it definitely captures the mood I had at the time. I still find myself chuckling about some parts; and I think the musical references work to make it a much stronger piece than it would have otherwise been.

Warning: don't read this if you're offended by cursing, sex, drugs, violence and/or social criticism.

ALOHA
(Saved by Zero)

We arrived in Honolulu with my mother on New Year's Eve, still wearing the heavy jackets we had donned twelve hours earlier. My father greeted us with a stiff smile. A lei. A hug. That was the most affection he had ever given my sister and me.

He loaded us up into a little silver Datsun. It seemed to be a clone of most other cars on the island.

At a nice restaurant in Waikiki, we ate dinner as a family for the first time in years.

Later, we traipsed around downtown Honolulu. We ended up on Hotel Street where the hookers--some well under age--leaned with bored eroticism against buildings and over doors of silver Datsuns, talking to horny GIs and shabby old men. Teen aged boys rode by in a souped-up VW Super Beetle, shouting ''Sample!" One of the hookers lifted her skirt, revealing a clean-shaven mound. That's when Mom began to shout at my father for his poor planning, and for getting us lost.

                                  ***

We made our way into Waipio Valley, a dirty little ghetto where we would stay until our furniture arrived from the mainland.

At the hotel, a placard on the coffee table explained the local lingo. ''Aloha" had the versatility to mean hello, love and goodbye. ''Local" referred to an island native "especially of Polynesian or Asian decent."

"Hauili [howly]: A person not of Polynesian or Asian descent, esp. of Caucasian origin."  Honkey.

I turned the radio dial until Genesis' Home by the Sea poured from the speakers.Scenes of unimportance photos in a frame...

An explosion echoed through the valley. I thought it was a gunshot.

''The fireworks are starting," my sister said calmly as she looked out the window, and I remembered it was New Years.

***

The first day in homeroom,which also happened to be my English class, I found a seat in the back corner. About half of the class wore black T-shirts that read "ALDO NOVA" on front, and ''Life Is Just a Fantasy" in purple script on the back.

The teacher--a round, smiling local--informed me and a punk rock girl who also must have been new, that his name was Al Damasio Bacarse. He prodded us into introducing ourselves.

''My name's Malia'' I'm from Idaho. I like the Dead Kennedys." Malia shrugged. "Not much else to tell."

I introduced myself. "From Texas," I said.

"Yeeeeeee-hah!" someone shouted. The class erupted with laughter. I smiled quietly.

"Does everyone wear cowboy hats there?" someone asked. At first, I was annoyed, but then realized everyone seemed to earnestly expect a response.

"Not everyone," I said. " A lot of people, though. I don't."

"You ride horses to school?" Another local asked. The class laughed again. An eraser flew at his head, but he ducked and the eraser went out the open door, onto the grass.

"Stupid!" A huge Samoan girl shouted. "They got buses."

Physical Science followed.

The teacher, Mr. Esperas wore a gray C. Everett Coop style-beard that worked well with his short but powerful build and bald head. He assigned me to the workbench in the back.

A fat Korean with bad acne introduced himself as Noel, and offered me a gummy bear. He pointed to a beautiful Japanese girl sleeping with her head on the table. "That's Michelle. She's here physically eighty percent of the time. Mentally, twenty percent." We both laughed. Michelle's middle finger raised casually and shot out at Noel like a viper.

While I performed the assigned experiment, Michelle scratched "Duran" into the laminated table top, with a 2 floating above the n. Noel torched gummy bears along the sides with a Bunsen Burner.

Mr. Esperas began to rave. "Goddamnit!" The chaotic babbling that had filled the room since the start of class suddenly ceased. "If you idiots would shut the hell up and listen to the goddamn instructions and read the fucking book, I would have to go through this shit over and over again every goddamned day!" He stormed out of the room. The class roared with applause.

"And I'm hungry like the wooooolf" Michelle sang softly.

"This place blows my mind." I said, and walked out.

Later, I found Malia eating lunch alone. I asked if I could sit by her. "It's a free country," she said. That was my conversation for the day.

***

I took the bus home. Not to the hotel, but to the house in Mililani which we were finally moving into.

Boxes crowded the living room. My little sister was in the large dining area dancing to Like A Virgin. She spun around, and told me that my books were in the box behind me.

I ripped open the box and began fondling my books.

A little girl, about five years old, stood outside, pressing her face against our living room window. I threw my copy of The Stand at her. She ran away, screaming.

A minute later, a carrot-topped boy rode a bike up to our screen door, waved, and rode away without waiting for a response.

"What the hell?" I wondered aloud.

"Neighbors," my sister said, still dancing. "He's Todd. has a sister my age named Lisa. That kid was his step-sister, Jenny. His mom's name is Jan, and his step-dad is Bob." She spun around again.

"Where are my tapes?" I asked.

"Bad news. They lost 'em."

After dinner, I went outside and moped around in the back yard. I noticed there was no fence dividing our yard from the neighbors'. This will cause some problems, I thought. I remembered Robert Frost:

Something there is that doesn't love a wall.

But I loved walls.

***

I stood at the bus stop in the early morning, Venus still shining brightly in the sky.

I shivered despite the light Members Only jacket I wore. Todd flirted with some curly-haired blonde girl. She tried to ignore him. A short, skinny local lit up a joint and handed it to a tall black guy who looked as if he'd been perpetually stoned for years. I shook my head.

"Eh, brah, you like beef?" The local asked me, angrily.

"Do I like beef?

"Ya. You like beef or what?" He said and swung at me. I stepped back, but his knuckles dug into my stomach. I stood there, confused. Militant vegetarian?

The kid's black friend shoved him lightly. "Chil, brah."

On the bus, I finally introduced myself to Todd. "What's this 'beef' shit?" I asked.

"'Beef is Pidgin for 'fight.'"

"Pigeon?"

"Pidgin. The way the locals talk."

"Oh." I said.

"You play poker?" he asked.  I nodded. "Room 1260. Lunch. We play there every day.''  After a long pause he said "There's a SADD party tonight. This chick I know told me to bring people. Wanna go?"

"Sure," I said.
      ***

The party took place in a park, about a mile from our house. A bunch of chairs, mostly empty sat around a grill. Two girls sat next to each other, with a bottle of Popov. I'd seen one of them in English class. Slim. Pretty. Short brown hair and large plastic earrings. Her name was Dawn.

The other girl was a bit plump. She wore a cab driver's cap, and an Ozzy Osbourne T-shirt. Cute face (the girl, not Ozzy). She told me she was Jody from California, and to please excuse her because she was, like, totally wasted. She said she was the president of SADD, and there were more people here, but they left when she broke out the vodka. Pussies. And did I know how to barbecue, since I was from Texas, because the burgers were taking too long. And here, have a drink.

"Why don't you make vodka burgers?" I joked.

Jody's face lit up with a smile. Before I could stop her, she grabbed the vodka and poured it onto the grill. flames licked up to the bottle. Jody screamed and fell backward over a lawn chair.

"Christ!" Todd shouted.

Jody began to laugh wildly,. and then the rest of us did too. I went to help her up. She pulled me to the ground and straddled me.

***

"You think I could get AIDS?" I asked Todd the next day, as she walked to Jody's house. Somehow I wound up with her cabbie's hat and I only remembered her name because it was written inside. I figured I should take it back to her.

"You didn't fuck her. You just frenched her."

"I know, but body fluids, you know. Spit."

"Ya. you were sucking it up, weren't you? I can't believe you didn't fuck her."

"I might have if she hadn't barfed on me."

Todd started laughing.

"Can you get AIDS from barf?

Jody's father wasn't happy to see us, but he let us in anyway. I noticed a print of The Last Supper in the alcove, and, just above it, a family portrait. Just Jody, her parents, and a little boy, sitting around the kitchen table.

"Which one of you is Todd?" Jody's father asked . I pointed to Todd. "Jody said you provided the beer?

"Yes sir," Todd said without a pause, with the proper tone of remorse.

"I don't appreciate that. this was supposed to be a Students Against Drunk Driving party and you're chugging Budweisers?"

Todd hung his head, a show of shame for a sin never committed. No one said anything for a minute.

"I wanted to return her hat, " I said at last.

The father looked me over. "You don't look like a queer," he said.

I blushed so deeply, I broke a sweat. Todd smiled covertly.

Jody's father stepped aside. "You can talk to her, but she's not going anywhere. She's in enough trouble already.''

***

Todd told me he was going up to the school to play poker with the custodians.

I went back home.

My little sister and Lisa were in the living room dancing to Like a Surgeon by Weird Al Yankovic. They spun around. "Your tapes are here," my sister said.

Jenny had her face up against our window again. We now had curtains I could close, but I instead slipped off my left Nike and flung it from my foot at her. She ran away screaming.

The box with my tapes and already been opened. I took one out, shut off the radio ("Hey!" my sister and her friend whined in unison) and cued the tape. All She Wants to Do is Dance played:

Crazy people walkin' 'round with guns in their hands...

The girls resumed dancing happily.

***

Mr. Barcarse passed out instructions. Write a speech. Get into groups of three. Critique each others work. Due in one week.

I saw Dawn and Malia pull their desks together, and a paler-than-milk boy walking toward them. "Hello, Dawn." I smiled.

"Howdy! " she said, pushing a chair toward me.

The pale kid walked quietly away.

I looked at Malia. "Hello."

"Hi," she said. "Sitting here?"

Dawn wanted to do a pro-abortion speech. "Not pro-choice. Pro-abortion. The world's too crowded, don't you think?"

Malia wanted to do hers on the ''unfair depiction pf punk rockers in the movie The Class of 1984."

I said I was going to do mine on "Gorbachev: An American Hero."

"Cool," Malia said. The she said "Oh hey! Did you hear about Epseras?" She made a gun with her hand and clicked it at her temple.

He blew his mind.

***

Todd and Dicker went to the restroom to make a deal. Dicker came back alone. "Todd wants you" he said to me.

I got up, taking my five dollar ante out of the pot. "Fuck off!" Big john balked. I gave him the finger and walked off.

Todd handed me a joint. I took a few drags and held them. "Don't feel anything yet," I told him.

"You gotta build up your levels," he said.

Heading back to the poker room, we ran into Jody. She told us she was going to the beach with

Dawn and did we wanna go? We did.

We went.

We smoked Todd's dime bag (except for Dawn) and drank guava juice with Popov. We christened the drink a "wrench." Jody had a tape with nothing but Suicide Solution on both sides. We listened to it for hours.

Todd began diving off the rocks. Dawn became scared and angry, begging him to stop. He didn't. Dawn started to cry.

Jody lifted her head from between my thighs. "What's with Dawn?"

I sighed. "She's dating Todd."

After a while, Jody went back down.

***

For the next few months it went like this:

Todd and I would go to Dawn's and then to Jody's. We would listen to the radio or watch MTV, which always fascinated me as I didn't have cable at my house. Todd, Jody and myself would get stoned. The four of us would decide whether to go school or to Shark's Cove or Haunauma Bay or Waikiki, or to just stay home.

We usually went to school.

Sometimes I would stumble into homeroom late with my arm around Dawn. Mr. Barcarse would shake his head, while Malia would whisper to me that she had some really good acid, if I was interested. "No, babe," I'd say.

Sometimes, Mr. Barcarse would tell me to stay after class, and when most everyone was gone (Malia and Dawn usually hung around, waiting for me) he would tell me to get myself together because I really was one of his brightest students, even stoned. He would say that I had talent. That he liked my Gorby speech and my short stories. There was always a sadness in his round, brown face when he said these things.

And I wondered why he gave a damn.

***

Jody disappeared on May Day.

She was supposed to meet us at the school-sponsored May Fair carnival. It was a huge event, with a Ferris Wheel, the Dreadnought, and the Hurricane. Pretty amazing, considering the school district still used textbooks from the sixties, claiming it couldn't afford new ones. Jody never showed up.

Danny, her ten-year-old brother, found me by the bandstand.

"Jody stole some money and bought a ticket back to Bakersfield."

I looked at him, doubting. "Stole money from where."

"My dad," he said.

I laughed. "She did? She told me she would! When was the last time you saw her?

"Last night. I think she had a suitcase."

"Tell your folks?

"No! She'd kill me! They'd kill her!"

I sighed and stroked the back of his head. "Alright. Thanks."

Danny hung around until the band finished a cover of The Fixx's Saved by Zero"

Someday, maybe (saved by zero)

I'll be more together...

then asked me if I could score some bud for him. I gave him a five and pointed him in Dicker's direction.

Todd stole his step-father's car and we drove to the airport. We tried to page Jody on the courtesy phone which, in retrospect, was a completely stupid idea.

Late that night, Jody showed up at my door with a lanky, long-haired guy. "This is my boyfriend," she said--to me. "Harold." She said she'd dated Harold a long time in Bakersfield, and maybe they would get married.

It didn't really make me angry. I was relieved that I had an excuse not to put up with her anymore. Harold was actually a nice guy. Easy going with an understated humor. I never felt any spite toward him, though i couldn't stand to talk to Jody after that night.

***

I was out in the back yard, smoking my fourth cigarette. Inside, my parents were drunk on rum and cokes, dancing to Little Joe Y La Familia records. My sister sat on the stone wall surrounding the garden, crying.

Todd strode across the fenceless divide. He took a cigarette from me and smoked. "We're leaving" he said.

"Shit." I said, understanding my sister's weeping. "I don't know anyone else here."

Todd shrugged. "Dawn. Dicker. Big John. Jody."

"Fuck Jody" I said. Todd looked down. "I don't know anyone else. Dawn maybe. Not really. Why so sudden?" I asked.

"Lisa came home drunk. Mom thinks this is a bad environment now.

I laughed. "No shit."

"What?"

"Look around. Everyone's drunk or stoned. You, me, your folks included. Schools are crap. People can't even speak English!"

Todd shrugged.

"Why?" I demanded.

Todd took a long drag on the cigarette. "Some people see things and ask 'Why?' I see things and say 'Because.'" he smiled goofily.

"Thank you, Mr. Kennedy," I said, then walked inside.

***

The school year ended. I collected autographs from a few acquaintances on an old gym shirt, including one girl I'd just met that day. "Have fun fucking around or whatever," she wrote.

I got Mr. Barcarse to sign my shirt, too. "Come see me when you're famous!" he wrote. He was smiling, but that sadness still filled his eyes. "You'll get your life together," he assured me.

"Someday. Maybe." Saved by zero.

"But not by staying here," he said.

Two days later, I smoked one last joint with Todd. Dawn, Lisa and my little sister drank wrenches with us, while the Talking heads sang Road to Nowhere. Jody and Harold came to say good-bye to Todd. 

Harold and I talked about music. Jody kept staring sharply at me, but I wouldn't look at her. That seemed to piss her off.

Dusk fell.  Dawn and Todd screwed in the back of his father's car, with the Cars' Heartbeat City as their soundtrack. Lisa and my sister complained that the songs weren't very danceable. They were appeased when the music changed to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, but they kept breaking out in tears.

The next day, Todd and Lisa left for Pensacola.

***

"Come here and let me talk at you," my father said not long afterward. They were discussing

sending my sister and I back to Texas with Mom.

I had left the radio on in my room. Sunset Grill wafted into the living room

But someday, girl, we're gonna get in that car and get out of here..

while tears rolled down my little sister's cheeks. She kept covering her ears to block out my father's monotonous river of half-finished sentences.

Mom asked me what I thought. I shrugged. "Don't you ever have an opinion?" she snapped.

"It doesn't matter what I think. You're going to do whatever anyway."

"What if you'd never been born?" My father asked, irritated. "What's your opinion on that?"

"Then I wouldn't be here to complain about it!"

He said I should see a psychiatrist. In Texas.

We landed at DFW on July 4, 1984. The twangy Texas accent of the woman announcing flights made me laugh. Every time I heard a Texan talk, I laughed harder on the inside. I couldn't stop. Not when the Independence Day festival began at Prichard Stadium in Fort Hood. The hilarity was only exasperated by the PA system playing Kim Carne's Crazy in the Night. I couldn't stop even when the song was cut short by the National Anthem. Not even when the explosions overhead shook the world beneath my feet.